Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Patriot Pete Sends Message to Senate on Gorsuch Nomination

PPPS (Peetz, Colorado)—In the midst of a spring snowstorm, a mysterious man on horseback pounded on our door early this morning and handed us this note. We decided to publish it.

A Message to the U.S. Senate in Regards to the Pending Nomination of Judge Neil Gorsuch to the United States Supreme Court:
Listen up you Lazy, good-for-nothing bunch of Liars, Thieves and Self Promoters. The Patience of We the People has been been rendered Dangerously thin.
The honorable Judge Neil Gorsuch is a Decent Man dedicated to the Constitution and the Rule of Law, concepts you may not be familiar with. But We the People have taken note of his Character, despite the efforts of Democrats and their Conspirators in the Press to Denigrate him. Judge Gorsuch hails from the Great State of Colorado, where men and women value what Liberty we still Hold, Despite the Indignities Imposed upon us by Traitors in Washington, DC.
Who cares what Democrats think or grouse about? They are all Enemies of We the People and our Constitution.
Who cares about Trivial Senate Rules, purported to bring Honor and Decorum to a Chamber where there is none?

It is time for Senators to stop Spouting Nonsense and Start Listening to We the People. You wast our Precious Time and hard-earned Money on Pointless and Incoherent speeches and delaying tactics.
The next Supreme Court session is about to begin, and We need all hands on deck to Defend our Freedoms. 
Don't make me ride my Trusted Steed across this beautiful land to Washington, DC - I may just gather a few Trusted Patriots to join me along the way.
Respectfully submitted, this 4th of April, in the Year of Our Lord, two thousand and seventeen.
Patriot Pete
Peetz, Colorado

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Climate Quote of the Day from Professor Pete

PPPS (Oxford)—Noted scientist and philosopher, Professor Pete, DMA, offers up our quote-of-the-day on the subject of Climate Science.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

BREAKING: Suspicious Russian Connections Among Trump Supporters at Denver Rally

PPPS (Denver)—Accusations by the Media and other members of the Democrat Party that the Trump Campaign was coordinating with the Russian government may have been confirmed by supporters at a Trump Rally in Denver yesterday.

During the past week, Attorney General Jeff Sessions has been forced to admit that he met with Russian Ambassador Sergey Ivanovich Kislyak and has now recused himself from any investigations of Russian influence on the Trump election.

Trump supporters welcoming the protesters.
PPPS investigators decided to interview Trump supporters at a rally today on the steps of the Colorado State Capitol regarding the accusations of Russian influence. The results of our investigation were truly shocking.
Friendly protesters were there to encourage open discussion.

Perhaps encouraged by the protesters who showed up to participate in friendly discussions, many Trump supporters were remarkably open to admitting that they too had met with the Russian ambassador when interviewed by our PPPS reporters.

In fact, based upon our random interviews, the Russian ambassador apparently met with an astounding number of Trump supporters during just a few short visits to Colorado. There can no longer be any doubt of Russian influence on the election, as evidenced by candidate Trump coming within 5 percentage points of winning the election over Hillary Clinton in Colorado.

Following is a random sample of the Colorado Trump supporters (and one supporter from Denmark) who met with Ambassador Kislyak. (Click to enlarge the photos, there might be someone you know.)

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Trumps' Hiring Freeze Backfires - Obama Appointments to Remain in Charge

President Trump and Chief-of-Staff Reince Priebus with new hiring freeze order.

PPPS(Washington, DC)—In an ironic twist only possible in DC, the hurried executive order signed last Monday to impose a hiring freeze on all federal employment, appears to have backfired on President Trump and is now preventing his appointment of any new Cabinet Secretaries, over 4,000 other high level appointments, and his upcoming selection of a Supreme Court Justice.

Senator Schumer (D) NY
The hiring freeze was expanded to include presidential appointments in a controversial ruling by Judge Loretta Lynch of the D.C. Circuit Court issued early this morning. The ruling was in response to a midnight petition filed jointly by Senator Charles Schumer of New York and the Open Societies Foundations, an obscure DC Beltway think tank.

Judge Loretta Lynch
The ruling establishes that any hiring freeze instituted by the President in an Executive Order must apply equally to ALL federal government branches and appointments, not just to civil service employees, citing the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution. Furthermore, in what some critics are saying is an overly broad interpretation of that Clause, Judge Lynch ruled that the same principle also applies to the President's power to remove appointees from office, essentially creating a simultaneous "firing freeze".

The practical result of this ruling, and the President's own executive order, is that no new Cabinet or lower level appointments not already approved by the Senate prior to last Monday, January 23rd, are likely to take office any time soon, and that all existing Cabinet and department heads, many of whom were appointed by President Obama, will remain in office, even those who may have turned in their resignations or have been fired since the executive order was issued.

Naturally, the mainstream press and other Democrats are celebrating the ruling this morning, and the conservative "fake news" organizations and pundits are outraged. No formal response has yet been issued by the Trump administration, in part due to confusion about who would be authorized to issue that response. As further evidence of the shocking setback to President Trumps accelerated pace of action, the President has yet to tweet on the matter.

Acting Attorney General Yates
Acting Attorney General Sally Yates represented the federal government in the midnight court hearing, and is purported to have provided a "friend of the court" brief on the firing freeze issue which was ultimately adopted in Judge Lynch's ruling.

Judge Loretta Lynch, formerly the U.S. Attorney General, is the newest member of the D.C. Circuit Court, having been appointed by President Obama in a secret recess appointment during the 30-second interval on January 3, 2017 between the gaveling out of the previous U.S. Senate session and the gaveling in of the current Senate session. Judge Lynch's appointment and swearing in took place in Air Force One while parked on the tarmac at Andrews Air Force Base, shortly after President Obama's return from a well-earned vacation in Hawaii.

The only available photo of Judge Lynch's appointment, January 3, 2017
Judge Lynch was apparently the only member of the D.C. Circuit Court on call last night to hear the midnight petition and make a ruling.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Are Womens' Marchers Guilty of Child Abuse?

PPPS (Washington, DC)—We have all seen the costumes, the nasty signs and heard the f-bombs hurled about by angry women at the recent marches in DC and other cities around the country.

But have you noticed the children in the crowds? What kind of parent exposes a child to such evil?

We are in an age when social services can take your children away from you for allowing them to walk home alone from school or play outside unattended at the neighborhood park - activities most of us grew up doing.

But exposing a child to the vulgarity of a Madonna, or the parade of vaginas in the street, or the f-bombs hurled through the air or printed on signs, or even using your kids to promote those messages - why is that not considered child abuse?

Perhaps we already know the reason why...

H/T to my friend Derrick for originally posting these photos.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Quote of the Day about #FakeNews

PPPS (Littleton)—A little quote from Pundit Pete, founder of a genuine fake news organization.
A deliciously delightful and delectable dessert designed to cover up the flavor of the daily dish of deceptive news served up by the Privileged Progressive Press. A practice they now falsely project onto their opponents as a poison to the public palate that must be removed from the menu.
—Pundit Pete, 2017

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Quote of the Day - the Media is Corrosive

PPPS (Littleton)—Our esteemed (and often much maligned) CEO and Editor-in-Chief, Pundit Pete made a pronouncement so profound that we thought we should share it (plus he asked us to). —the Staff
The privilege enjoyed by the Media, and the corruption in its ranks, has been perhaps the most corrosive force in America over the past few decades, as the Media has promoted and covered for the Progressive Privilege in the other elements of our civil society, to the effect that our society is no longer civil.
—Pundit Pete, 2017

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Congress Designates New National Holiday - NOBAMA DAY

PPPS (Washington, DC)—In a surprise, and mostly unreported special evening session on Sunday, both the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate passed legislation designating January 21, 2017 as a National Holiday to be called NOBAMA DAY.

Official Announcement Released by Congress on January 8, 2017
The legislation passed in both chambers on a voice vote after a limited time for debate. Apparently, only Republican members were in attendance, as all of the Democrat Representatives and Senators had retired for the night to watch the Golden Globe Awards.

Senator Ted Cruz (R) of Texas, key sponsor and honorary spokesperson for the new holiday, released a brief statement to the handful of reporters:
"On behalf of the long suffering American people, we, their chosen representatives, decided that it would only be appropriate to create a special holiday for America to celebrate and reflect upon the end of the eight-year Reign of Error at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue." —Senator Ted Cruz

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Trump's Proposed Hacking Solution - No Kitchen Table Diplomacy Here

Declassified Photo 12/31/2016                          Source: Pres-Elect Trump

Trump bungalow at Mara Lago
PPPS (Mara Lago)—In a rebuttal to President Obama's announcement to expel Russian diplomats as punishment for alleged Russian hacking and exposure of Democrat Party election corruption, President-Elect Donald Trump issued a very brief statement this morning at his vacation home in Mara Lago, Florida.

Here is his statement:
"President Obama had his chances to protect our nation's cyber security, but he canceled a key cyber warfare weapons program and chose to ignore the problem until it impacted the Democrat Party. Then, between golf outings, and in a pathetic attempt to delegitimize my Huge election victory, he chose a weak Kitchen Table Diplomacy solution which he thought would frighten Putin. What a loser. Putin could not be happier.
On my first day in office, I will issue an executive order to immediately resume building and deployment of a terrific new cyber security weapon, to be completed by the end of my first month in office, right after I've built that wall along the Mexican border....which, by the way, Mexico will pay for. 
This weapon is so deadly and so precise that Russia and China, and probably even North Korea and Iran, will immediately end their cyber attacks on our nation's key data infrastructure. I may not even have to use it.....but then again, I might. 
Oh, and by the way, I'll get China to pay for it.
Thank you. No questions at this time. My staff will release a declassified photo of the new weapon, so that the you corrupt press folks can freak out and write more lies about me. 
Happy New Year everyone. We are going to Make America Great Again."

Immediately after the conclusion of the President-Elect's statement, we were issued the photo of the new cyber security weapon that appears at the top of this news article.

There was no immediate response from President Obama, who is vacationing in Hawaii.

There are rumors that the Trump administration my also be developing a plan to address the domestic hacking problem, most often perpetrated by young males living in their parents' basements. Our sources indicate the new program has been dubbed the "Basement Bunker Buster Bomb Project" - but that has not been confirmed. Quoting one unnamed source: "We'll be able to take them out while they're still in their pajamas."

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

With Election Loss Final, Hillary to Launch Book Tour With Husband Bill

PPPS (Chappaqua, NY)—With the selection of Donald J. Trump as President-Elect now confirmed by the Electoral College, and Secretary Hillary Clinton's surprising election loss now starting to appear final, Hillary and Bill may be moving on.

Hillary Clinton's trusted aide and confidant, Huma Abedin, released a statement this morning that the Clintons will be launching a nation-wide book tour beginning in January.

Their new book, titled Dead Broke No More, is scheduled for release on January 20, 2017, and is likely to become the defining guide to achieving financial success while serving in public office.

PPPS has obtained this exclusive, pre-release copy of the cover.

It is being reported that Simon & Schuster, in an effort to recoup losses from Hillary Clinton's last book, Hard Choices, only offered the Clinton's an advance barely equal to a single one of the couple's previous speaking fees.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Maybe We Should Discuss Politics This Thanksgiving

PPPS (Littleton)—With the country in turmoil over the recent election, some are cautioning against discussing politics around the Thanksgiving table this year, and others are urging folks to take the opportunity to persuade relatives to see their point of view.

At the Pundit Pete Press Service we think political discussions can be a good thing. In that spirit, our own CEO and Editor-In-Chief, Pundit Pete, offers up his suggestion for a helpful conversation starter.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Trump Derangement Syndrome Causes Media Switch To Satire

PPPS (New York)—In a major change of editorial focus, the mainstream media has begun writing satire. Media watchers have diagnosed the problem as a severe bout of Trump Derangement Syndrome, brought on by the recent presidential election.

We can only hope that the ailment is temporary, as continued competition in the satire genre could force layoffs at the Pundit Pete Press Service.

Here is the latest example, from NBC News in the form of a screen capture. (full article link here).

Screen Capture from the NBC News web page

We realize that for the mainstream press, a dinner out for a president-elect or presidential candidate, is usually preceded by a notification:

  • either that an important photo opportunity is being made available to the press pool;
  • or that, in the case of the Hillary Clinton campaign, an important strategy meeting has been scheduled.

In the later case, of course, the media is invited to dine WITH the candidate. At these dinners, no reporting, audio or video recordings are allowed and certain media outlets are always excluded.

Here is more from the NBC article:
With his Tuesday night actions, the Trump Administration is shaping up to be the least accessible to the public and the press in modern history.
A week after the election, Trump hasn't yet held a press conference, the longest any recent president has waited to speak to the press. That continues a weeks-long drought that's been going on since mid-summer, when Trump last answered questions from the press.
This is really funny stuff. We only wish we had written it ourselves.

NOTE: The NBC satire piece follows closely behind another which appeared in the New York Times.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

The Clintons, the End of an Era

PPPS (Littleton)—The defeat of Hillary Clinton in the 2016 Presidential Election truly marks the end of an era in U.S. politics. What will there be to cover after this?

Layoffs to follow.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Best Satire Post Ever - We Wish We Had Done It

PPPS (New York)—The New York Times has just released what could arguably be called the best satire post ever, in the form of a mea culpa letter to its readers. In an amusing twist, The Grey Lady, the Newspaper of Record, has now decided to start practicing journalism.

Here is the letter, H/T to Times reporter Sydney Ember @melbournecoa:


We have to admit that with the New York Times starting to practice journalism, we may have to look elsewhere for inspiration for our editorial policy:

Current PPPS Editorial Policy:
TRUTH HAS CONSEQUENCES, which is why we try and stay away from it as much as possible.
Previous PPPS Editorial Policy:
We may make stuff up, but at least we're accurate and truthful - kind of like the Mainstream Media, except for the accurate and truthful parts.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Post-Election Survey Questions We'd Like to See

PPPS (Littleton)—In the interest of helping guide our nation in a new direction of healing after last nights historic presidential election upset, the Pundit Pete Press Service has developed a brief list of post-election survey questions.

Q - To which country do you think the Clintons should emigrate to avoid prosecution?

Q - Do you think there are any countries still interested, given their recent loss of political clout?

Q - Do you think Bill and Hillary will settle in separate countries, or the same one?

Q - Do you think Barack Obama will join them?

Q - Can a lame-duck president pardon an entire political party, or will it be necessary to name specific party leaders, consultants, staff, and media participants?

Q - In today's post election market, what do you think the going rate for a pardon should be?

Q - Will James O'Keefe or Julian Assange be awarded a Pulitzer Prize in 2017?

Q - Will CNN change its name back to Cable News Network, or will it continue to operate as the Clinton News Network?

Q - Will any mainstream media staff be fired for their active participation in a presidential campaign, or will they be all be promoted?

Saturday, October 29, 2016

BREAKING: Key Memo Reopens FBI's Hillary Email Investigation

Memo Hacked from Anthony Weiner Laptop      Source: Promiscuous Pete


Exclusive: Promiscuous Pete, mysterious hacker, sent to PPPS a copy of the key document believed to be responsible in yesterday's announcement that the FBI is reopening the Hillary Clinton email investigation, a memo. Read it above.

Apparently, the FBI decision to reopen the case was the result of documents found on a laptop computer owned by former Democrat Representative Anthony Weiner, estranged husband of longtime aide to Hillary Clinton, Huma Abedin. (The FBI was investigating Rep. Weiner in an unrelated child pornography matter.)

While the FBI has not been transparent in revealing the contents of files found on the Weiner laptop, citing the ongoing investigation, there was an indication that there may be thousands of emails—perhaps as many as 30,000.

Promiscous Pete is a longtime friend of Weiner, and is suspected to have been responsible for past leaks of Weiner "junk" photos posted on the PeteyLeaks website (although some sources believe that Weiner may have posted the photos himself). Pete is also believed to have been responsible for past hacks of the PPPS website.

The memo is addressed to Hillary Clinton from Huma Abedin on the subject of emails, with notes back from Hillary. At first glance, itt appears to exonerate Secretary Clinton, as the the email classifications all marked for deletion appear to involve personal and charity subjects and not official State Department business. However, in the interest of transparency, we are posting the memo to let our readers decide.

Promiscuous Pete, in the email to PPPS transmitting the Memo, claims to have hacked Weiner's laptop and obtained thousands of documents and photos. The subject memo was included in an unsecured directory labeled Huma_Work_Files, which also included subdirectories labeled Files_To_Save and Files_To_Delete.

Promiscuous Pete also claims to have thousands of emails from both subdirectories, including many that have not previously been released. He is considering posting those emails to the PeteyLeaks blog site after the election.


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Will Clinton Privileges & Broad-Based Support Lead to Electoral Victory?

PPPS (DC)—In a recent statement, Hillary Clinton acknowledged that her decades of experience in government and with the Clinton Foundation entitle her to certain privileges - privileges which give her an advantage in carrying out the duties of President and Commander-In-Chief on behalf of the American people. In stating her case for election, Secretary Clinton pointed out that she has earned her broad-based support from the media and key government officials, support that will be needed to bring our country back together and govern effectively.

We asked our own Graphic Artist, Pixel Pete, to illustrate this advantage to help citizens in deciding how to vote in the November 8th election.

(click to enlarge and feel free to share) —Pixel Pete

Friday, September 23, 2016

Are Colorado Politics Touched By Racism?

PPPS (Denver)—In an astonishing series of events this campaign season, perpetrated by Democratic candidates and Democrat-leaning press outlets, a disturbing pattern of racism appears to be emerging in Colorado politics.

Whether by commission, or by omission, black GOP party officials and candidates have been systematically discriminated against by their political opponents and by press outlets like the Denver Post. All of this begs the question: has racism started to become a part and parcel of the Democrat Party and its supporters, or is it just re-emerging out of the dark recesses of that party's sordid past?

At the Pundit Pete Press Service, we are proud to be at the leading edge of investigative journalism in our home state of Colorado, and will be pursuing these issues with the kind of professional integrity that once characterized the journalism profession. Towards that end, we have also formed an independent, non-partisan panel to oversee these investigations, the:

Committee to Stamp Out Racism in Colorado Politics

One of the first projects supervised by the Committee will be to produce informative print and video materials to educate the citizens to take up the cause to stamp out racism in Colorado politics. Our first item is actually one submitted by an engaged PPPS reader, Citizen Pete, to which the Committee has agreed to lend it's distinguished stamp of approval.